Building an ultimate Brewers ‘Frankenstein’ player

The debate of who is the best Milwaukee Brewers player of all time is a good one. There are legitimate arguments for Hall of Fame players like Paul Molitor and Robin Yount; Ryan Braun and Christian Yelich should eventually be in the conversation as well. But what if we combined the best traits of the best players (along with some obscure ones) into one ultimate “Frankenstein” ballplayer? An important note before we begin: Yes, we did pass 11th-grade English and are aware Frankenstein in Mary Shelley’s novel is the creator, not the monster. But that’s no fun. Let’s get started:

The clutch gene of Ryan Braun

Whether it’s his heroics in 2008, 2011 or 2018, Braun seems to always come through for the Brewers in the biggest moments. Of Braun’s 344 career home runs, 64 have come in the eighth inning or later — and four of them have been walk-offs at Miller Park.

The batting stance of Craig Counsell

While we want our Frankenstein player to be the best ever, we also want him to have quirks — like Counsell’s batting stance, in which he held his bat like a torch on the Statue of Liberty. It’s also known as the eighth wonder of the world.

The power of Prince Fielder

Fielder didn’t just mash 219 career homers — he did it with authority. Four of his homers with Milwaukee traveled over 470 feet, and 17 went for over 450 feet. He’s also responsible for the greatest home run celebration in Brewers — nay, baseball — history.

The facial hair of Rollie Fingers

The mustache of Fingers is so iconic, we gave it an Instagram filter.

The “stuff” of Josh Hader

When we say we’re taking Hader’s “stuff” on the mound, we really mean his fastball. After all, he threw that pitch 84.3% of the time in 2019 for an average speed of 95.6 miles per hour. Even though he allowed a career-high 1.8 homers per nine innings, Hader made up for it by whiffing 16.4 batters per nine. That’s just silly.

The hands of Paul Molitor

Raise your hand if you’ve had a hitting streak over 10 games. 20? 30? 35? One does not log a 39-game hitting streak (not to mention his 3,319 career hits) without unbelievably quick hands. Our Frankenstein player is partying like it’s 1987. Along with his hands, we’ll take Molitor’s nickname “The Ignitor” as well.

The swagger of Tony Plush

Nyjer Morgan wasn’t even six feet tall, but when he transformed into his on-the-field alter ego, Tony Plush, he could barely fit in the Miller Park dugout. It was Plush who won the 2011 NLDS for Milwaukee in extra innings. “Tony Gumbel, the professional” and “Tony Tombstone, the city slicker himself” – two other alter egos for Morgan — barely missed the cut here.

The glove of George Scott

No one in a Milwaukee Brewers uniform has taken home more Gold Gloves than Scott, who won it five straight years at first base from 1972-76 — the only five seasons he played in Milwaukee. The scoop shop was always open when Scott was on the field.

The personality of Eric Thames

What’s better than a Thames walk-off homer? A Thames postgame interview following that walk-off bomb. The footage speaks for itself.

“I feel like September separates the men from the boys. Some guys mail it in and check out, and other teams say ‘nah, we’re gonna keep going ‘til the end.’”

An absolutely ELECTRIC @EricThames interview ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/XjdrjaZaBW

— FOX Sports Wisconsin (@fswisconsin) September 22, 2019

The hair of Gorman Thomas

Every guy with fantastic lettuce has a great nickname to pair with it. Stormin’ Gorman is no exception. The slugger, who mashed 268 homers in 11 seasons with the Brewers from 1973-83, had hair that spilled out of his helmet like the Big Manitou Falls.

The swing of Christian Yelich

When Yelich tweaked his approach to stand a bit taller in the box and be more aggressive at the plate, he quickly morphed from an All-Star into an MVP. We want our player to have Yelich’s slow leg kick, ability to explode towards the ball and even the occasional one-legged follow through.

The leadership of Robin Yount

Yount is arguably the best player in franchise history, but we had a difficult time giving him a specific category for our Frankenstein player. Yount was simply good … at everything. So, we’ll go with leadership, which is a combination of his consistent play, will to win and pride on the field.