Building an ultimate Twins ‘Frankenstein’ player

The debate of who is the best Minnesota Twins player of all time is a good one. There are legitimate arguments for Hall of Fame players like Rod Carew, Harmon Killebrew and Kirby Puckett. But what if we combined the best traits of the best players (along with some obscure ones) into one ultimate “Frankenstein” ballplayer? An important note before we begin: Yes, we did pass 11th-grade English and are aware Frankenstein in Mary Shelley’s novel is the creator, not the monster. But that’s no fun. Let’s get started:

The hair of Willians Astudillo

The Twins have seen some fantastic lettuce over the years, from rookie Brian Dozier to Dan Gladden to Ervin Santana. (Side note: Don’t expect Josh Donaldson to join this list anytime soon.) But none compare to the flowing locks of Astudillo, which are constantly put on display in the infield, outfield and – most famously – on the base paths.

The absolute unit that could. pic.twitter.com/r2a5uj9E7o

— MLB (@MLB) September 13, 2018

The attitude of Bert Blyleven

We could’ve gone with a few attributes for Blyleven’s inclusion on this Frankenstein player – durability, “stuff” and maybe even facial hair. But we’ll go with his bulldog attitude on the mound, a “hit me if you dare” mantra that propelled his Hall of Fame career from 1970-92.

The speed of Byron Buxton

Since we used Astudillo for his hair and not his speed, we’ll settle for Buxton here. Buck’s ability to catch up to any ball in the outfield is what makes him one of baseball’s best center fielders and a Gold Glove winner in 2017. He’s also converted on 88.2% of his stolen base attempts, which is the highest mark in MLB history (min. 40 SBA). And on Aug. 18, 2017, Buxton circled the bases on an inside-the-park home run in 13.85 seconds, setting a new Statcast record.

The batting stance of Rod Carew

Eighteen All-Star appearances, seven batting titles, one Rookie of the Year award, one MVP nod and a plaque in Cooperstown — all while stepping in the box with a unique batting stance. Carew was known as the man of 1,000 stances since he was always tweaking it, but we’re picturing the version with his bat nearly horizontal as he waits for the pitch. That stance that is displayed at Target Field, by the way.

The swagger of Carlos Gomez

The guy was an electric factory. And you can’t beat his slide into home plate to win Game 163 in 2009.

The personality of Kent Hrbek

The St. Louis Cardinals were talking trash ahead of the 1987 World Series, telling reporters it’s a shame that a team which won 85 regular-season games advanced to the Fall Classic. Hrbek teased St. Louis for its lack of power by saying “it’s a shame they can only score one run a ballgame. That’s too bad.”

The glove of Torii Hunter

Twelve different Twins position players have won a Gold Glove in team history, but none have more metal mitts than Hunter, who won seven with the Twins from 1997-2007. The man robbed homers in his sleep. Here he is breaking down one of his favorite catches:

The durability of Jim Kaat

Kaat ranks first in Twins history in career innings pitched (3,014 1/3), is one of three Minnesota pitchers to log 300+ IP in a single season (1966) and ranks fifth in franchise history in complete games (133). He also strung together an astounding 25-year career. Yep, we need some Kitty with our Frankenstein player.

The power of Harmon Killebrew

Killebrew led the American League in dingers six times and smacked 40+ taters in eight different seasons from 1959-70. One of those moonshots went for 520 feet at Metropolitan Stadium. Now imagine what he could do in the era of launch angles and juiced balls.

The swing of Joe Mauer

There hasn’t been a sweeter swing in baseball than the left-handed Mauer, who became the first American League catcher to win a batting title in 2006 and did it again in 2008 and 2009. Does this mean we get Mauer’s walk-up song too? It does.

The flexibility of Doug Mientkiewicz

There are probably Twins players with better flexibility, but images of Mientkiewicz doing the splits at first base have stuck in our heads for decades.

The hands of Tony Oliva

In a 1992 issue of “Baseball Digest,” Jim “Catfish” Hunter called Oliva the best hitter he’d ever faced “because he could hit any pitch, anywhere. He did not have a weakness.”

Hitting 101 with former @Twins‘ 3-time batting champion Tony Oliva pic.twitter.com/XrPr8hLHkr

— FOX Sports North (@fsnorth) July 7, 2018

The facial hair of Carl Pavano

There is strength in the ‘stash. Pavano’s career looked like it was bottoming out after injuries, poor play and disputes with management and teammates ended his tenure with the New York Yankees in 2008. When he was acquired by the Twins at the 2009 trade deadline, Pavano hadn’t finished a season with an ERA below 4.77 since 2004. Well, during the 2010 season, Pavano debuted a gorgeous new lip ornament at the shiny new Target Field and compiled a 17-11 record, 3.75 ERA and a league-high seven complete games. Twins fans rallied behind the mustache to an American League Central crown.

The clutch gene of Kirby Puckett

This was an easy choice since Puckett is responsible for the biggest individual performance in franchise history – a wall-climbing catch and walk-off homer in Game 6 of the 1991 World Series. But Puckett wasn’t just a flash in the postseason pan. In 24 career playoff games, Puckett registered a .309/.361/.536 slash line, five homers and 16 RBI.

ＴＨＥ ＣＡＴＣＨ．?#TwinsClassics ➡️ @fsnorth pic.twitter.com/i88njjfJhy

— FOX Sports North (@fsnorth) April 17, 2020

The height of Jon Rauch

Rauch only appeared in 76 games for the Twins from 2009-10, but the image of his 6-foot-11 frame exiting the Target Field bullpen is one we haven’t forgotten. It’s very possible we thought Rauch was a much better reliever than what he was just because he was a bit closer to the sun.

The “stuff” of Johan Santana

Even when big-league hitters knew Santana’s changeup was coming, they couldn’t hit it. His three-pitch mix of a fastball, slider and devastating changeup combined to make him the Twins’ all-time leader with a 9.5 K/9.